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Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Dear Mr. Carlson,

It's a story as old as Adam. Whenever the Lord raises up a man to be a prophet, Satan quickly tries to destroy him. That's what is happening to the good folks at Landover Baptist Church. For years, they've served the Lord by bringing His word to those in need. Now you come along with your supposedly Christian web site and do all you can to bring them down.

You don't fool me. I know that no true Christian ministry would destroy another Christian Ministry this way--except for Pat Robertson. But that was a special case because Jim needed to be punished for stepping out on Tammy Faye, so God told Pat to steal their ministry. Anyway, you're no Pat Robertson and nobody is having extra-marital relations with the Landover Baptist Church secretary--she's 92 for God's sake. You have no excuses.

I think it's time we put an end to your persecution of these people. That's why I'm challenging you to a wrestling match. No weapons, just our bare hands and our naked bodies--the way the Israelites of old did it. If I win, and the Lord tells me I will, you will cease your attempt to shut down Landover Baptist Church. If I lose, you can do whatever you want to my prostrate body, but please, no box turtles.

You have twenty-four hours to respond. Otherwise, I will taunt you mercilessly.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot.

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Sunday, July 25, 2004

Whoops 

I just realized that I haven't explained why I'm posting here. Spectre asked me to guestblog while he attends to family matters.
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Can't someone silence her? 

Linda Ronstadt's at it again. She's saying bad things about Our Leader. We can't tolerate that when we're at war. Can't someone shut her up?

Linda Ronstadt's ode to filmmaker Michael Moore created an uproar at her performance Thursday at Wente Vineyards and sent nearly 100 people toward the exits.
Some in the audience yelled obscenities, booed and stormed out while others clapped in support after Ronstadt dedicated the last song of her performance, the Eagles' hit "Desperado," to Moore and his anti-Bush documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11."


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Friday, July 23, 2004

My question for Barbara and Jenna 

Here's my pre-submitted question for the Bush twins' chat.

Have you thought about speaking out more about your  commitnent to chastity until marriage?

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Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Monitoring dissent 

Patriotboy in for The General

It's come to my attention that my blog, Jesus' General, and at least one other liberal-oriented blog, Call of Cthulhu, are being monitored by the Counterintelligence Field Activity (CIFA), a domestic intelligence organization formed following the Sept. 11 attacks. This monitoring appears to be ongoing, because Cthulhu alerted me to it last spring when his logs recorded a visitor from CIFA who had been referred from a link at Jesus' General. Today, I noticed another entry for CIFA.MIL in my log (see the screen cap)--I use a free logging service which only captures the last 100 viewers, so I've had a hard time documenting it until now.

Here's how Dow Jones describes CIFA:

Another little-known Pentagon group, the Counterintelligence Field Activity, was set up two years ago. With 400 service members and civilians stationed around the globe, the CIFA was originally charged with protecting the military and critical infrastructure from spying by terrorists and foreign intelligence services. But in August, Paul Wolfowitz, the deputy defense secretary, issued a directive ordering the unit to maintain a "domestic law-enforcement database that includes information related to potential terrorist threats directed against the Department of Defense."

The CIFA also works closely with the FBI and is conducting some duties for civilian agencies. For example, according to Department of Agriculture documents, the CIFA is in charge of doing background checks on foreign workers and scientists employed by the department's agricultural-research service. The group also provides information to the Information and Security Command, or Inscom, the Army's main intelligence organization, based at Fort Belvoir, Md.

Military.com adds a little more to the description:

Quietly created post-September 11, CIFA has a broad charter to provide counterintelligence and security support to the Defense Department around the world and within the United States.

"Worldwide, more than 400 civilian and military employees work for CIFA with the ultimate goal of detecting and neutralizing the many different forms of espionage regularly conducted against the United States by terrorists, foreign intelligence services and other covert and clandestine groups," according to the Defense Security Service.

"The threats posed by these adversaries include actions to kill or harm U.S. citizens; to steal critical information or assets (military or civilian); or destroy critical infrastructures."

Are Cthulhu and I suspected of being "terrorists" or members of "foreign intelligence services and other covert and clandestine groups?" If not, why are we being monitored by CIFA? Is it because we are opposed to the Bush regime?

The funny thing about this is that CIFA could hide their IP address if they chose to do so, but they don't. Are they just too stupid to do it, or are they brazenly attempting to intimidate us? If it's the latter, they've failed in my case. In any event, it's starting to look like COINTELPRO is making a comeback.

Are you being monitored as well? You may want to check your own logs.

***

Of course, The General is grateful that he's being monitored.




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The one true party 

Reader Bill sent the General a nice graphic which perfectly expresses my feelings about the Our Leader's party.


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Friday, July 16, 2004

Republican Jesus visits Spectre 



Republican Jesus mugs and shirts available here

Republican Jesus Archive.




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Friday, July 09, 2004

Hiatus 

Mes amis, just a brief note to say that I'm on temporary hiatus. I've had to leave the undisclosed location to deal with family matters but will return as soon as possible. Meanwhile, keep up the good fight - especially against those leftist homos. Even Matt's on the scent and he knows all about those kind of things. You can check out his collection of man-on-man porn here. Good friends, my ass.
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