Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Je m'excuse... 

Mes chers amis... It's has been far too long. I apologize for my extended absence and would like to thank the General for filling in when I first disappeared. I hope to restore order to the undisclosed location in the very near future and resume communication. I've missed you all and will return asap. We must stand together in solidarity when the East Coast elites start swaggering, acting all articulate and attacking the Homeland and our values by calling a lesbian... well, a lesbian. See? How far will they go next?

Yours in Manhood,
H.G. Spectre (AWOL)


Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Yo Mamta 

Growing up in Utah, I must have know a a couple of hundred people named Mamta Popat. It was as popular a Mormon name as LaVere, LaDell, or LaMar. That's why I agree with this guy (scroll down) that we shouldn't be too critical of the White House for demanding that a newspaper disclose the race of a photographer named Mamta Popat so that the security detail could disquish her from all of the other Mamta Popats.

From MIKE PETERSON: The Post-Star, Glens Falls, NY: While I'm generally supportive of the First Amendment and the necessity of extending the media certain courtesies, I have to admit I sympathize with the White House in this matter of inquiring about the race of Arizona Star photographer Mamta Popat in order to distinguish her from other people with the same name.

Around here, we have tried to be politically correct in making the necessary distinctions among the various staff members named Mamta Popat. "The one with two kids, or the one who drives the Toyota?" we'd say, or "Mamta the vegetarian, or Mamta who always wears that green jacket?"

Finally, we gave up and, yes, went the racial route: "Do you mean the Swedish Mamta Popat, the Japanese Mamta Popat or the Mamta Popat from County Cork?"

(Has anyone explained to the GOP that, if they do succeed in building a world where everyone prefers to be called Mary Brown and John Smith, it's only going to compound their security issues?)


Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Dear Mr. Carlson,

It's a story as old as Adam. Whenever the Lord raises up a man to be a prophet, Satan quickly tries to destroy him. That's what is happening to the good folks at Landover Baptist Church. For years, they've served the Lord by bringing His word to those in need. Now you come along with your supposedly Christian web site and do all you can to bring them down.

You don't fool me. I know that no true Christian ministry would destroy another Christian Ministry this way--except for Pat Robertson. But that was a special case because Jim needed to be punished for stepping out on Tammy Faye, so God told Pat to steal their ministry. Anyway, you're no Pat Robertson and nobody is having extra-marital relations with the Landover Baptist Church secretary--she's 92 for God's sake. You have no excuses.

I think it's time we put an end to your persecution of these people. That's why I'm challenging you to a wrestling match. No weapons, just our bare hands and our naked bodies--the way the Israelites of old did it. If I win, and the Lord tells me I will, you will cease your attempt to shut down Landover Baptist Church. If I lose, you can do whatever you want to my prostrate body, but please, no box turtles.

You have twenty-four hours to respond. Otherwise, I will taunt you mercilessly.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot.


Sunday, July 25, 2004


I just realized that I haven't explained why I'm posting here. Spectre asked me to guestblog while he attends to family matters.

Can't someone silence her? 

Linda Ronstadt's at it again. She's saying bad things about Our Leader. We can't tolerate that when we're at war. Can't someone shut her up?

Linda Ronstadt's ode to filmmaker Michael Moore created an uproar at her performance Thursday at Wente Vineyards and sent nearly 100 people toward the exits.
Some in the audience yelled obscenities, booed and stormed out while others clapped in support after Ronstadt dedicated the last song of her performance, the Eagles' hit "Desperado," to Moore and his anti-Bush documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11."


Friday, July 23, 2004

My question for Barbara and Jenna 

Here's my pre-submitted question for the Bush twins' chat.

Have you thought about speaking out more about your  commitnent to chastity until marriage?


Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Monitoring dissent 

Patriotboy in for The General

It's come to my attention that my blog, Jesus' General, and at least one other liberal-oriented blog, Call of Cthulhu, are being monitored by the Counterintelligence Field Activity (CIFA), a domestic intelligence organization formed following the Sept. 11 attacks. This monitoring appears to be ongoing, because Cthulhu alerted me to it last spring when his logs recorded a visitor from CIFA who had been referred from a link at Jesus' General. Today, I noticed another entry for CIFA.MIL in my log (see the screen cap)--I use a free logging service which only captures the last 100 viewers, so I've had a hard time documenting it until now.

Here's how Dow Jones describes CIFA:

Another little-known Pentagon group, the Counterintelligence Field Activity, was set up two years ago. With 400 service members and civilians stationed around the globe, the CIFA was originally charged with protecting the military and critical infrastructure from spying by terrorists and foreign intelligence services. But in August, Paul Wolfowitz, the deputy defense secretary, issued a directive ordering the unit to maintain a "domestic law-enforcement database that includes information related to potential terrorist threats directed against the Department of Defense."

The CIFA also works closely with the FBI and is conducting some duties for civilian agencies. For example, according to Department of Agriculture documents, the CIFA is in charge of doing background checks on foreign workers and scientists employed by the department's agricultural-research service. The group also provides information to the Information and Security Command, or Inscom, the Army's main intelligence organization, based at Fort Belvoir, Md.

Military.com adds a little more to the description:

Quietly created post-September 11, CIFA has a broad charter to provide counterintelligence and security support to the Defense Department around the world and within the United States.

"Worldwide, more than 400 civilian and military employees work for CIFA with the ultimate goal of detecting and neutralizing the many different forms of espionage regularly conducted against the United States by terrorists, foreign intelligence services and other covert and clandestine groups," according to the Defense Security Service.

"The threats posed by these adversaries include actions to kill or harm U.S. citizens; to steal critical information or assets (military or civilian); or destroy critical infrastructures."

Are Cthulhu and I suspected of being "terrorists" or members of "foreign intelligence services and other covert and clandestine groups?" If not, why are we being monitored by CIFA? Is it because we are opposed to the Bush regime?

The funny thing about this is that CIFA could hide their IP address if they chose to do so, but they don't. Are they just too stupid to do it, or are they brazenly attempting to intimidate us? If it's the latter, they've failed in my case. In any event, it's starting to look like COINTELPRO is making a comeback.

Are you being monitored as well? You may want to check your own logs.


Of course, The General is grateful that he's being monitored.


The one true party 

Reader Bill sent the General a nice graphic which perfectly expresses my feelings about the Our Leader's party.


Friday, July 16, 2004

Republican Jesus visits Spectre 

Republican Jesus mugs and shirts available here

Republican Jesus Archive.


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